Return to Work Anxiety

For many women in my community, work anxiety is building at the thought of returning to “normality” and having to show up at the office again.

And being an anxiety prone introvert – I totally get it!

The small talk… trying to hide the 800 eye rolls per day from the rest of the office… presentations and real life meetings… getting smartly dressed on the bottom half as well as the top half…

So much to add to existing stress levels!

So I hope this series of questions will give you some confidence and clarity around how you’ll approach work anxiety and this transition point in your life.

Is your job really worth it?

1. Do you like your job or have you been trying to make it work because you feel like you should?

If this pandemic has taught us anything it’s that things can and will change whether we like it or not, or in fact think it’s possible or not.

Now may be the perfect time for you to take your life in a new direction and get in touch with who you really are and how you want to spend your days going forward.

What childhood dreams have you shelved for fear of needing a “stable job” or going the most predictable path?

What could you talk about all day to a total stranger? What gets you fired up & passionate and makes you forget about everything else?

And how can you incorporate that into your life as a job or career path?

Ok let’s talk about the anxiety.

2. What specifically about returning to work is freaking you out the most?

If it’s the social aspect, and you’re realising just how much you were living in survival mode around all those people, perhaps you can seek some specific help around social anxiety or reducing and managing your anxiety in general.

If you feel like you’ve let yourself go and you’re embarrassed that co-workers will see a difference, maybe now is the time to refresh your wardrobe and get yourself to a feel good movement class so that you remember just how fabulous you are. (And also realise that you absolutely won’t be the only one who looks different post lockdown!)

And if you were genuinely just better at doing life when you weren’t in those anxiety inducing situations… know this:

You don’t have to get better at them to be normal.

You ARE normal, and putting yourself through numerous daily situations that cause you anxiety because you believe that you ‘should’ be able to cope with them… that is your problem.

Unfortunately many of our desires around what we want to do with our lives simply don’t mesh well with reality.

Once upon a time I wanted to be a famous singer and actress.

Now that I’m older and I know myself, I’ve realised I like the work – but the industry? The demands on you? No way!

Who would want to live in the spotlight like that? I like my freedom and whilst fame and fortune appears to provide that on its shiny surface, the reality is quite different.

And hey, I also wanted to be a veterinarian. So I went to University for 5 years and I practiced in the job for 5 years and it took me an absolute breakdown, depression, anxiety and burnout to realise that there is plenty about that job and industry that simply isn’t right for me either.

And once I finally gave myself permission to see reality for what it is and stop forcing myself to just do better, I got to rediscover who I was and what I actually wanted for my life.

But what about the security?

If the thought of a secure job is holding you back from exploring different options, honestly nothing is secure and I think we’ve seen plenty of examples of that over this past year or so.

Leaving a career and toddling off to be a casual yoga teacher like I did can be a scary thing to do, but making a bold decision like that may prove to be the smartest thing you’ve ever done.

How to take the leap?

Honestly my practical advice here is to put yourself in the company of others who have made the bold moves and changed things up. 🙋‍♀️

You’ll get some well needed perspective, you can borrow confidence knowing it worked out for them and you’ll soon realise that anything is possible.

And finally, question number 3…

If you do want to stay in your job, what can be adapted to better suit your needs and support your health, energy and productivity at work?

Consider your energy, your personality type, whether you’re introverted or extroverted, your anxiety levels and what other stressors you have going on in your life right now…

And then go ahead and don’t be afraid to make some improvements.

Drop one day a week.

Ask for a pay rise.

See if you can work remotely.

Renegotiate your contract to include more self care points like ensuring a full lunch break or being paid for that time.

Most of these things just need to be boundaries that we set in place like not being available to answer phone calls after hours or being paid appropriately for your overtime.

Many of us struggle with these because we believe we’ve already set a precedent and people have come to expect certain things from us.

The truth is that we change when we reach a threshold and even then that change only happens once we make a decision and take action…

You can save yourself and your work a lot of time by skipping the catastrophe that crosses that threshold and instead calling time on the negative aspects of your job sooner rather than later.

The choice is yours.

Returning to work really is the perfect time to reflect, reset and then re-affirm what you need and what you will and won’t stand for.

You have options, and you likely have more power than you believe, whether that’s in negotiating your current situation or leaving and taking a new career path.

If there’s ever been a time for a shake up – that time is NOW and it’s up to you to make a choice, surround yourself with the examples and support you need and move forward. ✨

Kelly Moriarty

Ex-veterinarian, women’s health and anxiety coach, yoga teacher and entrepreneur.

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